Yesterday, I had a prospective Room Renter come look at the house. She let me know how disappointed she was, how it wasn’t what she expected — how she needed wall to wall closets, and added “because I’m a Girl.” And she said this while looking at me, evidently not a girl. And I heard how she’d need furniture (it’s furnished, but apparently not the right kind), and she wanted cozy (it’s spacious). I heard all about how it was wrong for her — this was how she framed what she wanted: noticing what she didn’t want or like, and using what she encountered to engage discernment. I thanked her for being clear. She said she’d think about it, and I asked her why she’d think about something she didn’t want? something that wasn’t right for her?
And these past few days I read articles from folks who are criticizing TV shows, or criticizing other writers for “getting it wrong” — on an issue, theme, politics, the latest Star Trek, or on Miley Cyrus.* People are writing about how other people missed the point, didn’t tell the real or most important story. Yet again.
And the great news about someone having missed the point — is that you get to make it. But we often spend our time talking about what others didn’t get right for us — be it a perspective, or wall to wall closets; and really, how could they? Missing how all of this contrast gets us clear and connected to our own truth and perspective, however frustrating and disappointing this process of awareness is.
How we use these moments born of contrast is up to us.
I know it takes time, and attention, and presence, to be conscious about what you are saying you want. I know folks set intentions, have vision boards, and dream big. But what happens in the every day interactions and pronouncements, as you assess what is — or what comes your way?
And if it is true that “energy flows where attention goes”, then anyone wanting to change their life — a new job, career, home, health, partner, government or rented room — might benefit from listening to their own voice of assessment, what they notice, and how they frame their desires in relation to the things that aren’t.
Not That. It’s Wrong.
And sometimes it’s simply easier to identify what you don’t want, than what you do. We seem to have more training and confidence in that skill — it doesn’t directly confront us, challenge us in the way that full bodied clarity of what we want, does. And that’s fine. We all need to start somewhere. This is only an invitation to awareness.
May you step forward into the space created by things that are not true for you. Not your reality. Not your experience. May you not spend your time on a Lit. Review of how people got it wrong — yet still be able to build the foundation, make the case for why what you have to say matters. May we all be able to make our points and move on. Or use what greets us in every moment, headline, or interaction, to turn toward what we say we want and go that way; build that life or more perfect Union. Maybe adding a silent “Thank You” for the homing signal flowing from the unwanted, from the untruths. And yes, may we all find rooms in Life we want to rent.
love,
lvl
* I originally wrote and posted this in 2013, in the news of the moment. I’ve added the “politics” and headlines and “Star Trek” to bring it more current to 2022, but left in Miley Cyrus, because what was happening to her in the culture and press at that moment inspired me to write this piece. Put your favorite news story, celebrity, and uproar, here. The specifics don’t matter — but the habits, patterns, and processes, do. That’s the point.
What are you giving your attention to?